Change will always happen

2 Nov

I always love going home, back to my hometown. Each time I ride to that bus which will take me home, I am always engulfed with that usual but fleeting mood of nostalgia. The fact that I will be having another two or three days off from office works’ hustles and bustles gives me reason to keep looking forward in going home.

Since I usually take night trips, I take advantage of the six-hour drive to sleep and gain enough rest that I can exhaust when I get home. At 6 or 7 am, while I am in a deep sleep, my instinct would tell me that I am already approaching the touch base of my home town. I would open my eyes, pull the window drapes and contain myself with the splendor formation of towering mountains I pass through while the green grasses sway with the morning cold breeze. And even though I cannot peep my head out from the window, I just know that the air outside, hovering those mountains, are exactly what a breath of fresh air is. I would close my eyes and whisper to myself: I am home again.

But aside from the fact that I love going home because the countryside provides me infinite wonders of nature I could freely seize, I also look forward to reliving moments with my friends whom, since I started working, I can rarely get in touch with. With my four-day vacation, I have already mentally planned where to and whom to meet for the first, second, up to the fourth day. I have specially marked a day for my best friends M and J together with other old friends.

A day before I took the bus home, my friends and I have already agreed to meet up Saturday afternoon. That gives me at least the first five hours to spend with my family before trotting the streets with friends. The thought of meeting up my friends gave me chilling excitement that carried me to the memories of yesteryears.

Not so long ago, we used to hang out anytime we wanted. We would enjoy booze and wines up to the wee hours in the morning. We would fill our weekends with sleep overs talking about anything under the sun. We used to spend so much time that days passed without noticing it already turned into years quite fast. With the thought of this, I scurried out from the bus and excitedly texted my friends that I arrived at last. I was super excited and was already planning for some night out somewhere else.

It turned out, however, that they can’t meet me up on the agreed date because of varied reasons.

P: I have to go straight to my girlfriend’s party. She just passed the CPA Board Exam. Yuhuoo!

M: Sorry gurl, my boyfriend’s mom doesn’t have a company here in their house. Can we meet up tomorrow instead?

J: I have dental sessions, sis. I purposely scheduled my dental appointments for this whole week since my husband is here for a week vacation, too. He can look after me. Sorry, sis.

E: My wife just got back from their hometown. She’ll freak out again if I’ll be out of her sight even just for a minute.

I suddenly felt a lump in my throat. My heart shrunk in such warped shape because I was sorely disappointed.

This has gotten me to thinking: Am I already left out by friends whom I thought I can still hang out with like it used to be? Has our friendship diminished at the passing of time? Am I no longer that important to them?

I was at the height of my emotions on the first night of my vacation. I was feeling resentful. I felt like being left out in the world where it used to revolve around painting the days red with my friends. Until reality came trotting down saying it is not the same anymore.

Although we were able to hang out the day before I came back in my workplace (because I insisted we should or they will never see me again and will forever resent them as my friends), it was only for a couple of hours. I wanted to spend the whole day or even the whole night with them again like we used to be but constraints are already on the way.

While the fact remains that M, J, and I are still best of friends and that my old friends are still my old, good friends, their world is now at a different solar system. My best friend J already has her own family. My best friend M is already living with her fiancé. My friend P and G, like me, has to pack things up for we will be travelling back to our respective places again so we also barely had an hour to chat over a bottle of soda. My other friends are already out of reach, doing their own things and can barely get out from their comfort zones. And some has gone to places where they chose to stay for good.

I am still saddened with the fact that things are having an almost 360 degree turn-around. But at the core of my heart, I know that change will always happen and will never cease to appear in the picture. The best thing I can do to cope up is to embrace it and believe that change, no matter how painful and saddening it could be, gives us more room to grow up and a reason to keep moving forward.

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3 Responses to “Change will always happen”

  1. ramonesguerra November 3, 2011 at 10:07 PM #

    Just like Jose Mari Chan’s song says, “life’s a constant change.”

    • joahnadiyosa November 4, 2011 at 8:16 AM #

      True enough! I am still recuperating from these changes happening lately though.

      Thanks for dropping by in my blog! 🙂

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. There goes the change again « sipping coffee. . . - November 4, 2011

    […] I was still recuperating from the sudden changes happening with my best friends M and J. The thought that these two lady girlfriends of mine are […]

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