Why I got more reasons to smile than to cry

21 May

Looking out in the ravaging rain outside from a glass window with a cup of hot coffee on my hand, I am amazed how the downpour of rain could sound like music to my ears. And as I stand longer watching the gorgeous city lights reflected from the rainwater, I can’t help but smile thinking how life has been so good to me.

While there have been innumerable painful chapters in my book, most of the time, I feel grateful than sorry. And as I look back once again, I realize that it is far better to be grateful of what I have than to cry over something I don’t (and can’t) have.

My family. Thinking how far I am with my family, my heart sinks with loneliness. We never really had a time to be complete even in just a single occasion. Not even during birthdays or graduation or Christmas Eve. Everytime I see pictures of a family laughing and going out altogether, God knows how I deeply wish I can also experience such. But then, I know that we are always connected with an invisible but very strong bond that no matter how far the distance we are from one another, the love and care is always present in our hearts. Not perfect and no family picture, but enough to claim I have my own family. And hey, my mom is just the most amazing woman and the best mother a daughter can ever have!

My friends. While perusing my old diaries and photo albums, I can’t believe I’ve made so many friends in every place I have set my feet unto. Sometimes, I wonder how these people could like me and even allow me to be a part of their interesting lives. Then I thought of it again. I realize, it is them who have made my life a lot more exciting and interesting. It really is funny how these people could bring so much happiness in your life. And what is funnier is how you could be just yourself around them but still love you for what you are—with all your flaws and imperfections. And the funniest part? They could make your life a lot crazier than you already are!

My job. Two years ago, I was still uncertain of what the future has in store for me. Though I know that in the deepest of my heart, I want to become a lawyer, I was still uncertain on how to create steps to realize that dream. Two years fast forward, I already am certain that the future I want is already in my hands. My current profession has just been very challenging (though at times literally back-breaking) that I don’t mind working even until the wee hours in the morning and over the weekends. Not to mention all the places I’ve been to all over the country. And because of my work, I realize how important every single penny is. How precious every minute is. And most importantly, I started to understand that you’ve got to be tough to survive, but pleasant enough to stay grounded.

My organizations. Apart from the countries I’ve been to and many more other countries I will be going to, plus the friends I’ve made along the way, my organizations, my advocacy have taught me so much about life. It made me appreciate the ability I have, the talent I possess, and the voice I can freely speak of. It taught me to become a woman, to become an activist, and to believe that change is possible. And the best part is that it taught me to stay strong and steadfast even if my beliefs are challenged countless times.

My heart. When it comes to the state of my heart, I can’t hide it. My friends and this blog have been supreme witnesses on how I became the happiest woman when I was in love. They, too, can attest how much struggles I’ve been through when those happiness turn into unbearable nightmares. My heart has been embraced with loving arms but it has also been torn apart in ways I never thought could be so painful. Yet, it remained with me. It survived all those debilitating chapters in my life. With scars but still alive and beating and ready to fall in love again. And that is another big reason to keep a smile on my face. I believe that love will always find me. It might not be today, but for sure, it will come. And maybe he is just around. ❤

And there.. the smile I will always wear… 🙂


7 Responses to “Why I got more reasons to smile than to cry”

  1. Yatin May 22, 2012 at 12:55 AM #

    And above all your little one & your positive attitude! You sure have million reasons to smile.

    • joahnadiyosa May 23, 2012 at 7:34 PM #

      Thank you, Yatin! Now your sweet comment made me smile, too! 🙂

  2. Tom Baker May 22, 2012 at 1:21 AM #

    You can smile and be content in all things. This is a very thoughtful and humble post!

    • joahnadiyosa May 23, 2012 at 7:34 PM #

      Hei tom! Thanks for dropping by again! Cheers! 🙂

  3. tracey May 24, 2012 at 12:56 PM #

    Sweetie life is too short to be anything but happy. Everything happens for a reason. I’ve been there, it’s like there is a black hole lurking somewhere in you heart, but i know in God’s sweet time someone or maybe something will fill it in and complete my being. Darating ang time na mararamdaman mo na parang may kulang sa buhay mo pero di mo alam kung bakit o ano. It’ll be a process. Im on that process now. Emo noh? Sign of aging. haha. Cheers! Milan

    • joahnadiyosa May 26, 2012 at 2:30 PM #

      Hi Tracey! So glad to see you back in my blog. Life really is very confusing. Most of the time, if not all the time, it gets a lot more confusing the more you try to understand everything. So I’d rather flex my perspective on the positive than dwell on the negatives. And it’s so great to know that there’s a person who is in the same situation as I am now. Cheers! 🙂

      • tracey May 28, 2012 at 6:58 AM #

        Yeah it’s bee a while.. sometimes, because of life’s complications i just wish to go back to the playground of my carefree childhood! Pero syempre, i still say ” Thank you Lord for life’s simple pleasures!”

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